I hear this question all the time, “Where are y’all in the process?”
Well here’s an update to where we are so
far…
Well here’s an update to where we are so
far…
·
Fundraising- God has currently raised $20,278.32
altogether (including our friend’s large donation)! Which is absolutely unbelievable!
I told a friend the other day that once we said “yes” to God, we just watched
Him do everything! My necklaces have really slowed down. So if you know anyone
who needs one please let me know! You can email me at [email protected]
to order. See “More Jewelry Pictures” post to view necklaces I have previously
made. In order to meet our goal, we
would like to raise $4,721.68. This would help us cover attorney fees, birthmother
expenses, travel, ect. Once our home study is complete, I will be able to start
writing grants so hopefully that will help as well.
Fundraising- God has currently raised $20,278.32
altogether (including our friend’s large donation)! Which is absolutely unbelievable!
I told a friend the other day that once we said “yes” to God, we just watched
Him do everything! My necklaces have really slowed down. So if you know anyone
who needs one please let me know! You can email me at [email protected]
to order. See “More Jewelry Pictures” post to view necklaces I have previously
made. In order to meet our goal, we
would like to raise $4,721.68. This would help us cover attorney fees, birthmother
expenses, travel, ect. Once our home study is complete, I will be able to start
writing grants so hopefully that will help as well.
·
Training- We went to the training last Friday.
Everyone always asks me, “Do they train you on how to be a parent?” No, crazy! The
training started at 8:45 and did not end until about 5. To say the least, it
was very intense. Here are some things we learned in our training.
Training- We went to the training last Friday.
Everyone always asks me, “Do they train you on how to be a parent?” No, crazy! The
training started at 8:45 and did not end until about 5. To say the least, it
was very intense. Here are some things we learned in our training.
o
Openess- This is something that we would love to
have in our adoption. Of course it
depends on our birthmother and her comfort level. Most adoptions begin as semi-open.
This is where we would not exchange identifying information and we would use
Bethany as the third party. We would send pictures and updates throughout the
child’s life to the birthmother. Many adoptions do not begin as completely
open. This normally, develops over time as the relationship begins to build.
With an open adoption, we would exchange numbers, email addresses, and meet
together without needing Bethany present. Although we would love to have our
birthmother in our life, we are available to whatever God has for us. We know
His way is the best.
Openess- This is something that we would love to
have in our adoption. Of course it
depends on our birthmother and her comfort level. Most adoptions begin as semi-open.
This is where we would not exchange identifying information and we would use
Bethany as the third party. We would send pictures and updates throughout the
child’s life to the birthmother. Many adoptions do not begin as completely
open. This normally, develops over time as the relationship begins to build.
With an open adoption, we would exchange numbers, email addresses, and meet
together without needing Bethany present. Although we would love to have our
birthmother in our life, we are available to whatever God has for us. We know
His way is the best.
o
Infertility Grief- My last post hinted on my
ache still from infertility. I was so encouraged after this training in knowing
that it was okay for me to still be hurting. Just with every loss, there must
be time to work through the five stages of grief. The last stage is acceptance
and this is where we find ourselves most days. There are still days that “trigger”
that grief again just as with any loss. These are the days that everyone announces
their pregnancy, or a thousand (or at least it seems) ultrasound pictures are
on Facebook. I was reminded at the training that adoption will not make our
infertility go away. And this is something that really hasn’t resonated with me
before the training. My sister talks a lot about “budgeting” for things spiritually.
I need to “budget” for the days I am around lots of friends with babies, or couples
announce their pregnancies. I continue to watch God heal my broken heart in
this. He so sweetly reminds me that being pregnant was not His best for me. Why
would I want something that wasn’t His best? His best for us could be in
someone’s tummy growing right now! We don’t want to miss out on His best!
Infertility Grief- My last post hinted on my
ache still from infertility. I was so encouraged after this training in knowing
that it was okay for me to still be hurting. Just with every loss, there must
be time to work through the five stages of grief. The last stage is acceptance
and this is where we find ourselves most days. There are still days that “trigger”
that grief again just as with any loss. These are the days that everyone announces
their pregnancy, or a thousand (or at least it seems) ultrasound pictures are
on Facebook. I was reminded at the training that adoption will not make our
infertility go away. And this is something that really hasn’t resonated with me
before the training. My sister talks a lot about “budgeting” for things spiritually.
I need to “budget” for the days I am around lots of friends with babies, or couples
announce their pregnancies. I continue to watch God heal my broken heart in
this. He so sweetly reminds me that being pregnant was not His best for me. Why
would I want something that wasn’t His best? His best for us could be in
someone’s tummy growing right now! We don’t want to miss out on His best!
o
Legal risks-Oh man! I looked at Brandon during
the training when the lawyer was explaining the legal side of adoption, and he
was biting at his nails. He only does this during Clemson football! It clearly
stressed him out! I ended that section of the training with an awful headache.
Seriously, we are completely trusting the Lord that He will handle every legal
battle for us. And are praying he leads us to the right lawyer when the time
comes.
Legal risks-Oh man! I looked at Brandon during
the training when the lawyer was explaining the legal side of adoption, and he
was biting at his nails. He only does this during Clemson football! It clearly
stressed him out! I ended that section of the training with an awful headache.
Seriously, we are completely trusting the Lord that He will handle every legal
battle for us. And are praying he leads us to the right lawyer when the time
comes.
o
Bonding- Of course this was a question that I have
asked adoptive parents before, but I never really thought about what this would
look like. I just assumed that because
the baby would be a newborn, he or she wouldn’t remember. However, they will be
going from hearing the birthmother’s voice and heartbeat every day to brand new
voices and a new environment. We will be doing lots of skin to skin. Brandon
and I will probably be the only ones to hold him or her for a period of time at
the beginning. I cannot wait!
Bonding- Of course this was a question that I have
asked adoptive parents before, but I never really thought about what this would
look like. I just assumed that because
the baby would be a newborn, he or she wouldn’t remember. However, they will be
going from hearing the birthmother’s voice and heartbeat every day to brand new
voices and a new environment. We will be doing lots of skin to skin. Brandon
and I will probably be the only ones to hold him or her for a period of time at
the beginning. I cannot wait!
These are a few of the major topics that the training
involved. The most important thing I took from the training was this: Adoption
is not solely about us getting our baby. My absolute greatest fear is that we
will get matched with an expectant mother. We will develop a relationship over
a period of weeks. We will be planning for “this baby” to be ours. We will get
to the hospital wherever she is, wait the 48-72 hours for her to be discharged
and sign the papers, and then she will decide to parent. And we would go home
with an empty car seat and broken hearts. And believe me, if this happens (I kinda want to prepare my heart for “when”
this happens) we will be heart broken. BUT we will have the opportunity to
speak Truth in her life, love her like Jesus, and pray for her baby. We will be
able to make a difference in two sweet souls for the Kingdom. As painful as
that might be, Jesus has called us to serve without expecting anything in
return. He did this for us, and this is what following Him looks like. I hope
and pray He keeps our hearts anchored to this truth as we start getting calls.
Please pray for us! Please pray that we will be willing to lay aside our hearts
to love and minister without expectations. Tough stuff.
involved. The most important thing I took from the training was this: Adoption
is not solely about us getting our baby. My absolute greatest fear is that we
will get matched with an expectant mother. We will develop a relationship over
a period of weeks. We will be planning for “this baby” to be ours. We will get
to the hospital wherever she is, wait the 48-72 hours for her to be discharged
and sign the papers, and then she will decide to parent. And we would go home
with an empty car seat and broken hearts. And believe me, if this happens (I kinda want to prepare my heart for “when”
this happens) we will be heart broken. BUT we will have the opportunity to
speak Truth in her life, love her like Jesus, and pray for her baby. We will be
able to make a difference in two sweet souls for the Kingdom. As painful as
that might be, Jesus has called us to serve without expecting anything in
return. He did this for us, and this is what following Him looks like. I hope
and pray He keeps our hearts anchored to this truth as we start getting calls.
Please pray for us! Please pray that we will be willing to lay aside our hearts
to love and minister without expectations. Tough stuff.
·
Home study- Now that we have completed our
training, we are waiting on our home study. I just got word today, that we will
get a call next week to set up meeting times! Home studies normally take about
three weeks to complete. Brandon will have an individual meeting, I will have
an individual meeting, and then we will all meet in our home as well. Our worker
will walk through our home to make sure it is safe and clean for a baby, but
mainly she will be learning about who we are and what type of parents we want
to be. After the home study, we will be waiting to be picked by a birthmother. 🙂
Home study- Now that we have completed our
training, we are waiting on our home study. I just got word today, that we will
get a call next week to set up meeting times! Home studies normally take about
three weeks to complete. Brandon will have an individual meeting, I will have
an individual meeting, and then we will all meet in our home as well. Our worker
will walk through our home to make sure it is safe and clean for a baby, but
mainly she will be learning about who we are and what type of parents we want
to be. After the home study, we will be waiting to be picked by a birthmother. 🙂
As my friend Tanya told me the other day, “You are just one
day closer to being a mommy!” Hopefully, this gave you a pretty clear picture
of where we are and some things we have been processing! Continue to pray for
our adoption story, our birthmother, our baby, and for us, that God would give us grace while we wait!
day closer to being a mommy!” Hopefully, this gave you a pretty clear picture
of where we are and some things we have been processing! Continue to pray for
our adoption story, our birthmother, our baby, and for us, that God would give us grace while we wait!