When You Stand Outside a Grave

When You Stand Outside a Grave

by | Aug 21, 2019 | Adoption, Faith, Infertility

I kept thinking if I waited a little longer, I might have more words. But I’ve learned over the years, that most of the time, words don’t come (at least the right ones) until my fingers hit these keys. One of our pastors said on Sunday, “Vulnerability always comes...
Selah Turns Five

Selah Turns Five

by | Dec 22, 2018 | Adoption, Infertility

She turned five today. Five.

Five whole years loving a miracle. Five whole years of so much joy. Five whole years of being a mama.

Five feels hard. I say this every year, but for real. She might as well be driving. Hold me, Jesus. She’ll go to KINDERGARTEN next year. I can’t take it.

When Love Built My Family

When Love Built My Family

by | Nov 15, 2016 | Adoption, Infertility

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A mama,” I would say.

I would have lots of them. Little blonde hair girls with green eyes just like me. And they would call me “mama.” I knew I would adopt one day, it was never a question. But first, I would feel a baby grow in me. I would take pictures with the positive stick. I would have the big gender reveal. I would wear the trendy maternity clothes and laugh with my husband about my silly cravings. That would be me. That was the life I dreamed.

Except, it didn’t quite turn out like that.