I bought these ornaments a few months ago, hoping that this was the year.
That I could wrap them up and give them to my husband and mom, and when they would unwrap them, they would be unwrapping a miracle. The one we’ve been praying now for eight years. I know healing is my inheritance because of Jesus. He paid such a high price for me to be healed. I know more than ever that truth, and that we will see that healing manifest.
I was just really wanting it to be this year.
Christmas was always a measure of time for me
“Maybe next Christmas we’ll have a baby.”
Next Christmas would come and go, but with each passing year, it was harder and harder to believe. More than most times of the year, the ache couldn’t be escaped. The family Christmas cards that would pile in, the commercials of those sweet ones opening all their toys, and the line filled with excited faces and cute outfits at the mall waiting for Santa, it all just screamed at me. Reminding me of what I didn’t have. Yet wanted so desperately.
And then almost three years ago, four days before Christmas, we brought home one of our favorite gifts, our daughter. Not that Christmas needed redeeming, Jesus did that when He came, but how sweet of Him to send us our baby girl in a season that had brought so much pain?
We celebrate the Christmas season with family.
We’ll sit around a table with each other and eat way too much food. I’ll make sure to get on a team with my cousin, because he always wins when we play Spades. My brother-in-law will definitely say something crazy, we’ll all end up laughing, and he always catches me mid-swallow. My grandma will give my a big hug and say, “I’m so glad you’re here.” She’ll tear up when she says the blessing because “all her children are under one roof.” My mom will most definitely give me those furry socks with aloe in my stocking, even though I never wear them (don’t tell her that). I do appreciate them! Our kids will run around our house like screaming wild things leaving Cheeto handprints up the stairwell. And it will take DAYS to clean up the playroom after everyone leaves. You’ll find us eating oyster soup with Goldfish on Christmas Eve at my sister’s house. (It sounds gross, but it’s tradition.) And our whole family will all hold hands at the end of the Christmas Eve service at church.