Learning to Rest

Learning to Rest

The majority of my childhood was spent striving.

I tried really hard to be the best at everything. If I made good grades, there was a chance I would get approval. If I led this or was the best at that, there was a chance I would be recognized. If I worked hard to be perfect, that would be the ticket to love. If I was “good” then that would help keep my family together. The more I worked, the less I was seen. But it didn’t stop me from trying.

I thought that was how it worked with God too. If I read my Bible every day, memorized Scripture, stayed pure, went to church every time the doors were open, and told others about Jesus, then I would have all of His love and He wouldn’t be disappointed with me. I could tell you that “my righteousness was like filthy rags,” but I didn’t really believe it. Trust me, I knew I was missing the mark, but the part about God’s love being so big for me, I just didn’t get it.

Fast forward a lot of years.

When God is Silent

Beads of water were dripping down my back from wet hair. My legs were tingling and numb from sitting on them for so long. Her going to sleep, which normally was very routine had turned into bursts of crying. Not the I’m okay, but don’t want to go to...