Most of the time, it’s easy for me to look at ugly and have eyes to see beyond, how beautiful it will one day be.
It’s easy for me to do this, because I know who Father is. I’m learning more and more of His heart. That it’s only in His character to do good and be good and give good. He turns bitter into sweet. He raises beauty up from the ashes. He redeems and rewrites and restores. When you know who He is, it’s easy to see past the ugly. Because when you walk in your true identity, a daughter knows her Papa will always rush in. He’ll come to the rescue. It’s just who He is, it’s what He does.
It’s easy to peek into someone else’s life and imagine theirs to be much easier than yours.
Like that mom at the preschool who always has makeup on and her hair fixed. Or that girl on Instagram whose life looks perfect in those tiny squares. Or the girl at work who always is on time. Or the couple in your community group who has the perfect marriage. Or the friend who always remembers your birthday AND buys you a present. Or the girl at church with the cutest clothes. Or the friend who gets pregnant when her husband looks at her. Or the family at the restaurant with the most obedient children. Or the couple who never worries about money. Or the friend with the best family.
I’m through believing the lie that they all have it together.
I first felt it when I was a junior in high school. In the middle of our routine at half-time, I would glance in the stands, searching for both parents to be there, cheering me on. Only to be disappointed.
Then again, early in our marriage, when we were trying so desperately to communicate with one another. We would leave our conversation both feeling misunderstood.
A few years later, I found myself sitting in a room full of women with happy faces, holding up tiny outfits and talking about their pregnancy stories. I sat with a plaster smile on my face, praying they wouldn’t ask me, holding it together until I made it to the car.
I walked home from dropping our new little family member off at the bus stop this morning with my jacket wrapped tight around me. The days are getting shorter and the sun tags the moon much quicker than what we’d like. The flowers that were vibrant and full of life only a few months ago are losing their color and becoming tired. The leaves on the trees are holding onto the very last bit of green before they surrender to the colors of Fall.
Summer is slowly slipping away and Fall is riding in on the breeze.
I found myself whispering, “Thank you, Father,” for the very simplicity of the seasons changing this morning. His faithfulness is as steady and sure as the rising of the dawn. I am confident of His coming to me just as the sure signs of the Fall. There is great comfort in knowing that seasons end and a new one begins.