“You feast. I’ll Fight.” (Part 2)

***This post is the second part to the story, if you haven’t read Part 1 click here.***

Immediately after we welcomed a new face into our family, Brandon and I had already planned to head to the beach to celebrate our anniversary. It seemed like terrible timing, but it was already paid for, and we weren’t going to miss it. 

The drive down there gave us a chance to process the events of the last few days. Our children we all safe and taken well care of, and our hearts had a second to take a deep breath. What we just said yes to, it was all heavy. It still is.

We drove straight to the beach. We unloaded the car, put way too much change in a parking meter, and walked (in the rain) to the beach. We sat there in our beach chairs, holding hands, in the rain. And it was perfect. 

The rain stopped, and we declared that to be a prophetic act for the weekend. We checked into our resort. (Brandon had won this whole weekend for FREE at a gold tournament several months before.) The hotel worker was showing us to our room and when I walked in, I started to cry. This room was like a dream. It was so beautiful. I was overwhelmed, again, by the Father’s goodness. That He perfectly positioned this free weekend for us in the beginning of what would be a hard season. 

I can’t explain it, the presence of God, that weekend. We weren’t digging deep into theological truths, in fact, we didn’t once touch our Bibles. But we rested in Him, enjoyed Him, soaked Him all in. And we both have never felt Him so near. Resting in Him looked like laying on the beach holding hands. Watching storms late at night over the ocean. Eating dinner together, talking without being interrupted, and enjoying one another’s company. Sleeping without having to listen to baby monitors. Having someone else make our bed and taking really long, hot showers. 

I FaceTimed my mom that first night before we went to dinner to check on everyone. She assured me everyone was doing great and told me Selah wanted to talk with me. Selah’s sweet faced popped up on my phone screen and her little voice was bursting with excitement. She took the phone from my mom and I could hear mom telling her in the background, “Selah, come back!” The day the investigator came, I realized decorating my office would have to wait. I could dream with Father without having anything on the walls. Selah ran into that office (with the phone). 

And my friend, Amber and her friend, Sarah, were decorating my office. Amber took the phone from Selah and I screamed, “What are you doing at my house?!” She said, “God told me a while ago to decorate your office. So we’re here and your office is getting a makeover. And you don’t owe us anything. Just enjoy it.” 

We had just welcomed a new face to our family. Within 24 hours of him coming home to us $1200 landed on my kitchen island. Big, heavy things were happening in our family, but Papa cared about decorating my office. No one knew that I had been praying in the secret place with Him about decorating my office. Not a soul knew the heart and vision ( the white, golds, and pinks) He had given me for that space. No one knew I told Him that Wednesday morning that I didn’t need pretty things on the walls to dream with Him. I just needed Him. He got a team of interior designers, people who actually decorated spaces for a living, to come to MY house, to decorate MY office. I had to get off the phone with Amber because I was crying so hard.

He is so good. 

Brandon watched all of this unfold from the other side of the room. He helped organized the timing with Amber, without even him knowing what I was praying in the secret. His face was red and tears were rolling down his cheeks. He came over and held me as I melted to the ground. 

I realize it’s just an office. 

But to me, it was everything. 

Papa told us, just two days before, to feast while He fought for us. That meant He went to war, fighting our battles, taking care of us, giving us what we need, but also giving us what we want. In abundance. We got to feast, while He fights. 

I think when we get to heaven, the reason He’ll have to wipe away our tears, is because we will finally realize His goodness. The beauty of Jesus, is that He came to bring heaven to earth. He’s so good. Way more good than we can imagine. Way more good than we truly think or believe. He is good and only good. It’s only in His nature to be good. He is powerful and just, and it’s right to fear Him because He is holy God.

But He is also my Papa, my Daddy. I get to run straight into His throne room because of Jesus. I get to jump in His lap and rest my head on His chest. I get to breathe in His goodness, smell His aroma, and listen to the sound His heart makes. He brings me to the feasting house and I look up and see that His banner over me is intimate, reckless, untamable, wild love (Song of Solomon 2:4).  

My office, it reminds me of HIs goodness.

And it reminds me, forever, to feast while He fights.


I will forever be grateful for my precious friend, Amber, loving me so very well, doing only what He told her. You can find her beautiful story here.

Sarah, from Dwell Chic, is incredibly talented. I adore the beauty she made in this space. You can find her website here.

The beautiful, white desk was made by my brother-in-law. You can find his website here. 

Our local radio station caught wind of this story. They interviewed me shortly after it happened. You can watch the interview here.