10k, that’s a race right?!

I know it is hard to get all the dates in order. I’ll try to
make a brief timeline. Last summer (2012) we completed three cycles of IUI
(Inter Uterine Insemination). All were failed. Before we started them, our time
period was three cycles and then we would be done trying to have biological
children. That’s what we did. Our last cycle ended in July.

It was so nice to not have to worry with doctor appointments
and calendar dates. We accepted the fact we would never be parents to
biological children and we were okay with that. We always knew we wanted to
adopt, but who really has that kind of money lying around? Well, you may!
J But we sure didn’t.

It worked out nicely because my heart started acting up
around that time. I have had a heart disease since childhood. The surgery my
cardiologist warned us about had to happen. I had an ablation in September and
they finally put in a pacemaker in November. (Yes, I am bionic!) I love going
to the cardiologist because they always ask me where my grandma went.
J I think it’s hilarious!

In October, I started having really bad pains in my stomach.
I thought it was just cysts rupturing because I had many of those. I went to my
infertility clinic and happened to see a new doctor. To make a long story
short, he diagnosed me with endometriosis. Because of the two heart surgeries
that year, he went ahead and did a laparoscopy in December. We didn’t pay a
dime, because our deductible was met. Huge blessing! Turns out, I was covered
in endometriosis. I’ll spare you the gross details, but they rate it on a four
scale and I was a three.  He couldn’t get
all of the endometriosis in the surgery without damaging other organs, so in
January I was put on Lupron, AKA the DEVIL! The Lupron was a shot that put me
into menopause to stop the estrogen production that fed the endometriosis.

I was on Lupron shots for two months. At the end of the
second month, we were immediately going to start either IVF or more IUI cycles.
Our doctor really wanted to us to do IVF, but it wasn’t the best decision for
our family at the time. We were down to the wire with our plan, but our hearts
were so restless.

The Saturday before the Thursday we had to start a new
cycle, Brandon called a godly man in our church to talk with him about our
uneasy spirit. He told us they were starting this new ministry in our church
for orphans the next day and we should come. It would at least be a place that
was safe to talk through all of our feelings with many couples who have been
down our road.

We fought the entire way to church! Don’t you love when you
do that?! I remember stamping into church with Brandon behind me. We just weren’t
on the same page and wondered why our “plan” felt so wrong. Not to mention, I was
pumped slam FULL of hormones! We kind of made up….and went to our meeting.
Honestly, our hearts were wanting the same thing, we were just afraid to tell
one another.

We went in our meeting and met some of the most precious
people! Some of them we didn’t even know in our church! The first hour or so,
we talked about our adoption in Christ and how adoption is not giving orphans
homes, but giving them an opportunity to meet Jesus. Half way through the
meeting, someone asked us to share our story. I bust out in tears. The hormones
had a lot to do with it, but I just felt the Spirit moving in my heart to trust
Him. You know that feeling? It’s always scary! Brandon saved the day and so
kindly said, “Don’t worry about her, she’s just on hormones! It’ll pass!” He
proceeded to tell our story and asked these sweet people to pray that God would
tell us what He wanted us to do. We needed to make a decision by that Thursday because
that would be when the next round of IUIs would start. We couldn’t understand
our unrest. It only made sense. This would have been the absolute first time we
would have had a real chance to get pregnant. My endometriosis was gone. Why
would we “give up?” as so many people have asked. But, it just didn’t feel

This precious new community of ours circled around us and
prayed that God would clearly tell us what He wanted. We asked for faith to be
obedient to whatever it was He asked us to do. We were so encouraged when we
left! Brandon said, “WOW!” I went on and on about how sweet it was and how
exciting it was we were going to be a part of this at our church. We got in the
car and Brandon just sat there. His face was white as a sheet. I asked him if
he was okay, and he just sat there staring. At this point I was worried about
him and reached for my phone in case I needed to call911. He said, “You will
not believe what is in my pocket…..” He pulled out this little torn piece of
paper that said, “We are good for 10K to help you out for your adoption.” A
couple from our group gave the piece of paper to Brandon as we walked out of
the room.

Brandon and I started screaming and praising the Lord! I was
crying!!! Brandon was laughing (that’s what he does because he “doesn’t have
tear ducts”).  We were so humbled and
overwhelmed with the generosity of a stranger, but also the faithfulness of our
Father answering our prayer for direction in less than an hour! There are just
no words to express our gratitude. Thank you just isn’t enough.

Needless to say, our unrest was the Spirit urging our hearts
to be obedient in adoption. WHAT is 10k?! That’s a race right?!!!!!!