I’m so proud of you.
I watch you hit your alarm clock three times every morning and fumble out of the bed. Your exhausted feet hit the floor and you know you won’t be off them until you fall into the bed again at night. You rush to get ready. Throw on your clothes. Look in the mirror, and wonder if you can make it through another day.
You dread waking up your sleeping baby to brave the bitter cold. After you put all the bags in the car, her bags, your bags, lunches, and who knows what else, you stand there and hold her. Yes. You’re running late, again. But you breathe in her scent because it will be the last time for 7 hours.
You strap her so tight in the car seat she might as well be going to the moon. You pull out of the garage and check the “going out the door” list in your head before you close it. And you’re off.
You sing to me all the way to work and I love it! She’s listening to you and although they’re just babbles, you’re teaching her to love me. I know you feel stuck sometimes and wonder if what you do really matters. Sweet mama, it does.
I watch your heart break every time you walk into the sitter’s house. Not because she isn’t wonderful, but because she isn’t you. She’s the one who gets to hear a belly laugh and see a squishy smile all day. You’ll have to share your sweet girl with so many over the years. Do it graciously. I’m written all over her little life.
I hear the prayers you pray for her as you walk out the door. Don’t worry, Mama. I know you love her more than your heart has words for, but she was mine first.
I know when you get in the car, you put on a different face. Your work face. I know you’re trying your best! I see how hard you work, even when you feel no one else does. All the meetings, meltdowns, expectations, and pressure. It’s a lot. Too much sometimes. And you can’t stay there all day and night making the newest, best lessons anymore. You have to budget your time and use it wisely now. You might not be on all the committees like you used to, but I watch you love. And I love that more. I’m so proud of you.
I hear you whisper to me throughout your day. I know you can’t wait to retreat with me, but I’m here now. I give you those super powers when you feel like you can’t make it until bedtime.
You’ve learned that perfect looks a little different now. So it’s okay to leave when you still haven’t graded those papers. You’ve done Kingdom work today and your day is only half way over. It’s time to put your mama face back on.
You run up the steps to pick up your sweet girl. I love watching you with her. I had your family planned out from the beginning of time, and I love watching my beautiful plans.
You glance at the mirror, still shocked even after a year, that your daughter is asleep in the car seat. I love your grateful heart.
We went through a lot to get her there, didn’t we?
I hear you make all the phone calls in the car. Because not only do you work during the day, you’re a mom, but you also pay bills, make appointments, and work out the schedule for your little family. Everyone depends on you. And I love how you depend on me.
I hear you mentally go through the “what to do when I get home” list. It’s so much. Unpack all the bags. Repack all the bags. Iron your clothes, her clothes, his clothes. Lay them out. Pack lunches. Cook supper. Clean up from supper. And that’s a day you have at home. That’s a day without a meeting or appointment, so you have extra time.
And although you have all of that to do, I’m so proud that she comes first. You know how fast she grows up. And tomorrow, she won’t be this little. So I watch you get in the floor with her. You play, read, and sing the Bumblebee song. You are doing Kingdom work, Mama. I am so proud of you.
When he gets home. Everyone’s day is better! I know you two aren’t perfect, but I also know your hearts. And you really long to love each other like I do. Your marriage is so beautiful to me. You both are putting the Gospel on display, and she is watching.
I watch you glance at the clock. Because for now, life runs on time. And your days just don’t seem to have enough. Someone starts to get cranky and it’s time for a bath and bed. It’s okay when you feel guilty that you’re glad. I give you just enough energy to make it through the splashes and tantrums. And I hear every word you softly sing over her. I am already answering those prayers for her. Mama, you just wait to see what I do in her life. And you will be a part of it. I laugh sometimes when you dose off. And then other days, I want to come down from heaven and carry you to YOUR bed.
The “things I have to do today” list is almost complete. And even after all of that, you still come meet me on the white couch. It’s my favorite time of day. I get all of you. I understand that you can barely hold your eyes open, but Mama, my Truth is just the refreshment you need. My Word is the energy you need to love hard tomorrow. You serve so many all day, and you need me to serve you. This is how I do it. I love on you through my Word. And all I need you to do it open it. I’ll do the rest. And I’ll give you rest. You’re learning to dance with me and you’re getting really good.
I watch you melt in the shower and wash the day away. You fall into the sheets that you will all too soon stumble out of. And I sing over you and pray for you while you slumber. You did more Kingdom work today than you will ever know, sweet Mama.
And you will never know how proud I am of you.