I glanced in the mirror one night when I was putting by children to bed and suddenly remembered that I didn’t grow them in my belly when I saw our reflection staring back at us. It might sound weird that I forget that my children are adopted, but I do.
Because to me, they’re just my children.
We were in Target about a year ago and Selah saw a little girl with beads in her hair and absolutely fell in love. We ended up going over to the little girl and telling her how beautiful her beads were. Before we had even walked away, Selah said, “Mommy, you HAVE to get me beads in me hair like that beautiful wittle girl.”
If you’ve been around here for a while, you know caring for Selah’s hair has been a journey, one I’m honored to be on. So many people have asked me over the years, “How are you going to care for her hair?” And my response is always the same, “I’m going to learn.” Caring for her skin and hair, is me loving her well. And I’m going to do everything in my power to love this sweet girl well. Even though I’ve learned so much over the last four years, I still know I have much more to learn. But I’m happy with the progress.
So shortly after that Target trip, we went to Hobby Lobby and got some beads. I had no idea what to get but she liked the color combination of the bag she picked out, and they beads were large enough I knew her hair would slide through them. We came home, washed her hair, and got to work.
Adoption starts from brokenness.
My brokenness. That looked like an empty womb. Month after month, year after painful year, of seeing negative pregnancy tests. It was failed infertility treatments and a really broken heart and tired body.
She’s two and a half. Can you believe it? She’s looking more and more like a little girl and less and less like baby Selah. It breaks my mama’s heart. Although the tantrums are no joke, my favorite part about this age is her imagination.
She’ll say, “Be a mermaid, Mommy!” or, “Wide dis magic carpet wif me, Mommy!” My absolute favorite is, “Wet’s dance!” She has the sweetest heart and literally talks all the time. I guess like every other two year old, she’s also obsessed with Frozen and recently Elsa “bwaids” are her favorite.
Can I be honest with you?
I’ve probably spent more of her life so far praying for wisdom about her hair than her husband. That might sound silly to you, but I told you I was going to be honest. Caring for her skin and hair, is me loving her well. And gosh, I want to love her well! So, I’ve asked for lots of help, watched lots of tutorials, and practiced, a lot. I though I might share some things I’ve learned with you just in case you’ve prayed the same prayer.