Full Not Busy

Full Not Busy

by | Oct 24, 2018 | Faith, Infertility, Speaking, Uncategorized

It’s been quiet around here lately.

I’m so sorry about that.

Do you ever feel like you can’t balance your life? Or is it just me? Surely it’s not just me. It’s like I’m an awesome mom and tanking the ministry thing, or I’m writing and not speaking, or visa versa. Either my legs are shaved or my hair clean. And don’t get me started about house. If the dishes are done, the laundry probably isn’t. Know what I mean?

I’ve chosen in this season to use the word “full” instead of “busy.” I feel like being busy is just running around without intention and lacking purpose. Full describes our season much better. Everything that our family is doing is intentional and filled with purpose. It just means we have to give our very best yes. And a lot of “no’s” along the way too.

Every morning when I wake up, I ask the Father, “What do you want me to put my hands to today?” Sometimes I work on The Garden all day. Somedays I only work on stamping jewelry. Somedays I just need to play in the floor with my kids or go on a date with my life crush. It’s been something I’m definitely growing in, yet learning what it looks like to live in this full season of life out of a posture of rest.

You’re Not Going Backwards, Just Higher

You’re Not Going Backwards, Just Higher

by | Feb 20, 2018 | Adoption, Faith, Infertility

I glanced down at my shoes when the conversation changed to pregnancy.

I reached over and wrapped my arm around Selah, hugging the very manifestation to a promise. Reminding myself of His faithfulness once before through her story, choosing hope. Again. Knowing that He is man true to His word, what He has promised He will do. That one day, it will be me sharing about a miracle pregnancy.

Baby showers still sting. Really bad. And that annoys me.

Because so much healing has happened in my heart. All of these years have passed, us still waiting on this miracle, and my heart looks very different from when we began this journey. I know Him more than I ever have before. He is more to me the Gift, the promise, the blessing, than ever. It’s Him I want.